Someone asked the question in response to a post, “How or where do we start our healing journey?”
“For me, it was inner truth —— truth we tell ourselves about how and why we feel what we feel. Our truth tell us what to believe, our beliefs tell us how to feel and feelings tell us what to think. Every belief that is based on a lie will keep us emotionally imprisoned in the past and psychologically paralyzed —— preventing us from growing forward.
Freedom to relearn, unlearn, and develop new truth is critical to our healing journey. Truth about God, love, behavior and, the physical, emotional, spiritual and mental effects of trauma form the foundation for growth and healing.
Trauma isn’t who we are, trauma is what happened to us. Once we open our heart and mind to the truth, we can begin the long journey of reconciling false beliefs to truth that sets us free. For many survivors of trauma, self included, this also means surrounding yourself with trauma-informed people helpers, truth tellers, and supporters of your healing journey —— in person, online and in books, who shine floodlights on truth. Our truth tellers are oftentimes not the people we are familiar with or have been close to our entire lives but rather, trauma-informed truth tellers. Our closest friends can be supportive of our healing journey but don’t underestimate the importance of support that has the wisdom to guide you, the experience to help you heal and the training to help you fight — spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically.
Becoming “healed” is a journey not a destination. We often become aware of the depth and severity of the effects of trauma post-trauma — PTSD/CPTSD. Start with what you feel, think and believe about those things that trigger and disrupt your emotional stability. There’s a root to every belief, feeling and thought, but the root is discovered by identifying and understanding the resulting symptoms. Know thyself and be aware of the fact that nearly every aspect of our life —— to one degree or another, will be effected/impacted by trauma. And to the extent that the impact controls us or causes emotional instability, we must not be afraid to seek the help we need to push through our healing journey.
Once we begin this journey, we have to be willing to surrender our previously held untrue beliefs, trauma trained beliefs, to the truth, and develop the knowledge, skills and habits that aid in our healing. This will be especially critical for those who desire to be or plan on being in an intimate relationship in the future. Unhealed and unacknowledged trauma will destroy the potential for a healthy relationship —— which will challenge our unhealed and unacknowledged trauma at its core. Of all of loves benefits, the one least talked about is it’s ability to expose our vulnerabilities, emotional challenges and false beliefs. Neither love or an intimate partner can do our inner work, the hope of having healthy love can inspire us to do our inner work.
Read the book, “The Body Keeps Score,” it’s a great book to start with. You can also visit our resource page for programs, articles and book recommendations for your healing journey. As you continue your healing journey, look for resources that deal with the physiological, emotional, relational and spiritual effects of trauma. Connect with trauma-informed resources, and avoid groups, friends or information that renders you and your healing journey hopeless —— remember, trauma is not what’s wrong with you, trauma is what happened to you, and you are not alone on your healing journey.
